When I broke the thick
surface of a septic
dreamless sleep
I found myself alone,
unclothed, uncovered
on a sheetless bed,
the bottle still in the corner
like a forgotten chew toy.

I light a cigarette—pull
one little card from
this double deck of pain.
Last night who was it
dealt them out?

I run over & over
the bare white walls with
my eyes until they turn
traitor for the second time,
burning &
brimming over. Then
a fly lands on my knee
& I snap to,
get up & start looking
for briefs & bra,
find my dress with half
the buttons gone,
my ears roaring as
the bitter certainty
rises in my throat.



  1. endlesslyredonoursnow · April 3, 2007

    This is quite powerful. Dark. The chew toy is a very strong image, as are the walls turning traitor.

  2. endlesslyredonoursnow · April 3, 2007

    I mean eyes turning traitor lol.

  3. Dave Bonta · April 3, 2007

    Thanks. I wrote this so long ago and am so familiar with it that I honestly can’t tell whether it still works or not. So I appreciate the independent confirmation.

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